when i grow up i want to be....

you've all seen it. and i know you are all thinking the same as me but think its too deep to say out loud. well i don't.

the absolutley cracking new kfc ad.



would i be right in saying that it's changed ALL your views on working at the classiest, healthiest establishment in town? made you more open minded about future career choices if the recession really fooks you over? thought so.

the budding chef, all smiles for the camera, harping on about his love of food, how its "all about the 'secret' fresh ingredients", yeah, i bloody bet it is. like "what secret ingredient of fingernail dirt, pube or ball of earwax shall we hide in your twister wrap today"? sorry guys, but thats what goes down behind the chip fryer when all you see is his chef hat/baseball cap bobbing up and down, laughing to himself because according to him "if a jobs worth doing, its worth doing well".

cut to the close up of the plastic looking salad, 1 tomato if you get lucky plus the guaranteed stale carrot shreds and it is looking FRESH. he really has learnt a lot from working there. bless. the menu is hard to beat.

look, i'm sorry. but it will forever and always.... be KFC. where people sit hunched over the latest bargain box, ripping apart a miniscule hot wing with glistening greased up fingers and their mouths slobbering all over an oily corn on the cob smithy and nessa style. and then you whip out the coveted kfc anti bacterial cleaning wipe that cleans aaaallll the dirt away.

it doesn't. go and wash your hands.

but it is the king of all chicken shops! and i could never take that away from the colonel and his minions, who on a daily wear ACTUAL kfc branded tshirts, caps and jeans....yes jeans. but theres no getting away from the simple fact this advert tries excrutiatingly hard to try and persuade us all that working at kfc is like working in the bustling kitchens of ramsey or oliver or blumenthal- actually maybe not blumenthal as his gaffs did get shut down by the health services for food poisoning claims. but then thats what you get for being EXTRA whipping up a rinse out £200 scoop of egg and bacon ice cream nonsense. i'm alright for it heston, just send me a steak and chips please with a slab of fatty fudge cake for afters. saaaaaafe!

finger lickin' good it may be. fingers getting licked whilst cooking it- higher possibility. don't get me wrong, i love a fillet burger with cheese, i do. however, i don't think i will EVER be convinced otherwise that kfc workers couldn't be happier than when they are coating 2 week old chicken breasts in breadcrumbs.