totally jumping on the bandwagon. toot toot!

ahh the BRITS. the british version of 'the grammys'... really?? noooooot too sure about that to be honest.

when you look back and remember groups like 5ive (yes, thats really how they spelt their name) who have previously won brit awards and whose members included the likes of someone called 'abs', i just think the prestige value of the event decreases a little you know? then theres always the award for 'best female' going to someone that NOBODY has ever heard of... like didn't PJ Harvey win best female for like 5 years in a row? i'm sorry, and i speak for the rest of the world watching, but i'm not entirely sure who you are. same every year.

it's also a time for all the old stars to come creeping out from the woodwork, rearing their fame hungry heads, itching to get papped and made relevant again. take this year for example: sophie ellis bextor. why are you here? you haven't had a hit since 'murder on the dancefloor' and still living off the glory that you 'presented an award once'. great. i'm sure jamelia was lurking about the background in a lipsy dress somewhere too.

it's not all bad though. if you don't give a shit about the actual awards like myself, you do get to rate and slate the dresses and messes as they hit the red carpet.

some of my faves:

i find her voice slightly irritating and whiney, BUT pink hair, a vivienne westwood dress and studded christian louboutins? she scrubs up quite nicely.


i love how she can go from dutty wining in a barely there leotard with buttocks and boobs all on show, singing about chains and whips to a cutesy oscar de la renta gown all in a nights work. go rhi rhi!


ticks all the boxes does yasmin. simple but not boring. right amount of skin exposure and not tacky (take note cheryl cole, you might wanna cover up that ever growing tramp stamp on your back, adding butterflies and vines is not helping you out). a banging barnet and a dash of red lippy. top notch.


man of the moment tinie. theres just so many things i love about this pic! mummy and daddy tempah looking proud as punch, his mum in full african regalia clinching a bottle of champs and a beaming pops in a crisp bow tie and suit. tinie looks alright too in his nude suit but totes outshone by the rents. big!

and now for those who clearly bypassed the mirror on the way out:


there's no denying doolittle has a cracking set of pins but a seethrough white mini dress for starters and additional choker? sorry. it's a no from me. i won't even begin to mention the crochet car crash going on at the back of the dress either. (or her hair...its needs a trim. and a wash.)


right ok so...a pleather jacket, some form of beaded key chain and a pair of no named velcroed high tops? and lets not forget the lip gloss. you're cute biebs and i love the little tourettes esque hair flick you do, but this is all wrong. why don't you snuggle back into your babygrow, sit back and wait for your voice to break yeah?

despite all of this though, disaster dresses, embarrassing speeches and cringing at peter andre telling all the stars how it was an 'honour' to meet them as they nervously answered questions not knowing who the fuck he was, there was one person who totally smashed the night up, hands down.

the gorgeous adele. not only did her performance give me goosebumps and make me envy her always picture perfect eye make up, there wasn't a strobe light or david guetta sound sample to be seen or heard. stripped down and mesmeric. absolutely heart her. here she is singing the current soundtrack to my life. literally:



amaze.

corinne loves adam loves drew.

so you're probably all thinking i'd be using this day as a prime time opportunity to have the ultimate bitch and rant about february 14th. you know, a big ol' spiel about how happy i am being a singleton on the day of love and that i'm TOTALLY cool with it, like totally... *ahem* and how i spent my lunch mopping up my own vomit after seeing men rushing out to buy roses on their lunch break for their loved up wives and girlfriends and how i'm really really excited (genuinely though) about my all the meal deals going on for this eve cos the way to MY heart is through my stomach. literally. so i'm going to pick the bestest one/ best value for money/ cheapest/ probably the most grimiest one cos i'm brassic.... will go home, bang on 'the wedding singer' and drift nicely off into a hazy, pink champagney filled doze...

and so to just to prove to you all that i'm not a bitter 25 year old spinster and that i'm really not at all jealous of all you lovely couples out there, hitting up your local pizza express with the rest of the world and their dogs, sharing over cooked doughballs by the flame of a single tea light followed by the completely unnecessary reenactment of the lady and the tramp spaghetti moment, all just before you hand over your 2 for 1 vouchers...

i leave with you with this. it gets me everytime: full blown tears, lip trembling, the full shebang. and i dont know why.... its adam sandler in horrendous 80's get up and a permed mullet and some ridiculously turd acting from billy idol that makes you cringe. but i love it. and i heart this song to pieces.



so here's to getting old and wrinkly with the one you love. honest!

happy valentines day! x

it moss be love...

so new girl kate middleton is a bit special. what with her being the future queen of england and all that, i'm not gonna hate. she's got a cracking barnet giving cheryl "i've got shit loads of hair extensions in but l'oreal still pay me millions to promote natural, healthy hair" cole a run for her money and she's got swag for daaaays when she's bussing that sapphire engagement ring- forefront of the photos, strategically placing her hand for all to see and drool over, forcing millions of girls to run out and get a replica in 'mikey'. i think wills has done well for himself so they get my blessing... important. obvs.

but.

theres only one other kate more important in my life, heads and shoulders above the rest...

effortlessly cool, doesn't give a shit about much at all except grey blazers and booze, she says hardly anything at all and doesn't have to, has her most successful year to date after the 'cocaine kate' scandal and made BUCKS, has had 'way back when' lovings with johnny depp (say no more) and almost semi turned me to the other side after her appearance in the white stripes video.

moss. kate moss.

so to celebrate her engagement to that alright looking jamie hince but moreso raising a glass to the fact that shes no longer with the stinking hobo pete doherty, here are a condensed selection of some of my fave kate pics smashing it up over the years....


likes a good cup of rosy lee like the rest of us


smokin'


by far my fave ever kate vogue cover


boobs and a beret. why not?


yep.


scrubs up doesn't she?!


LDN reppin'


oh you know...just rocked out of bed, had a couple snaps taken.


emma watson's crop ain't got shit on the moss.


maxin relaxin'

CONGRATS MISS KATE MOSS

that wedding reception is gonna be one helluva shindig. i say another bank holiday day is needed!

hurrah!

whagwan rastamouse!

who would've thought 3 jamaican mice fighting crimes against cheese has given me the best joke of my actual living breathing life?? ME.

my eyes have only just stopped streaming and i now have a craving for cheese. scrap that, MORE of a craving for cheese. it's kind of there all the time, like a dull headache that won't disappear. forefront of my mind. constantly....


tangent much? sorry.

please enjoy. it's brie-lliant. (sorry i just had to)



i'm basically zooma. and i'm not ashamed.

irie.