chapping

even though my heating is on full whack and if touched, you could actually peel your melted hand off the radiator like a scene out of ren and stimpy, i am still chapping. this is due to me being lumbered with a friggin vent right above my bed, so when the wind is loudly howling outside, i feel it. literally. i wake up every morning with one side of my face and an arm frozen while the rest of me is toasty warm. brilliant. and for a brucey bonus, lets not forget getting woken up most mornings by either the sound of a car alarm going off, sirens or just general hackney beef hetting up outside my window. so yeah, heres to starting the day off with a smile, leaving the house in not as many layers as anticipated because the sun has been bursting through the curtains all morning, tricking you into believing its a glorious day outside, only to shut the front door on your way out and get smashed in the face with the arctic wind. so sun, if you're not going to do your job, can you just go back behind the fucking clouds please? cos you ain't got your hat on and you ain't coming out to play.

hey fatty boom boom

being bored and unemployed gives me the perfect excuse to eat. not that i ever need an excuse to chow down. but even moreso. it's mostly 'really bad for you' kind of food like some form of cheesy, gooey shit (marks and sparks macaroni cheese. £1.99. bargain) or something sweet and sickly, that give your teeth a couple extra coats of plaque but you wash it down anyway with an equally just as sugary cuppa cha, in a grande sized mug jacked from starbucks. so thanks mr kipling, for nursing my boredom this morning, its been a pleasure. as always.