you uggly

i was once a hater. (my mate kat will no doubt rinse me for this and say "once? you still hate. on everyone and everything. you hate your life love.")

and she's not wrong.

to me, they were affiliated with poker straight straw like haired girls, covered head to toe in tiffany necklaces, bracelets and rings, wearing hideous diamante embellished pauls boutique parkas and sickening jack wills/abercrombie trackies tucked in to them, for the ultimate in 'house of the rar'.

"what choo talkin' about?" i hear you say. like you don't know already. uggs innit.

i ended up getting a pair SIMPLY because my housemate could get them for cheaps and as the usual british blitz came upon us last year, i thought my teeny size 4 trotters could do with a daily cotch inside a furry sleeping bag, instead of squelching and swimming around in my shit ballet pumps from primarni. i'm not gonna lie, they're warm and cosy. but they don't reeaaalllly go with much and as soon as i put them on i feel my personal style takes a little nose dive into... chav. for the sake of comfort do i really want to channel the kerry katona look? my survey saaaays:

eh uhhhhhh.

now, i want to explain the importance of the classic purchase. when they initially came out they were in 4 colours: the beige, the caramel, the chocolate and the black. classics. but...

'hold up, wait a minute'.

why are we now being bombarded on road with leopard print ones, shiny gold metallic ones, ones with beads and bangles hanging off the back, buttoned up, zipped up, ones with added external fur, ribbons, bows and buckles?! what is going ON? not to mention the poor mans chanel clogs they have put pride of place in the covent garden shop window. they look like heeled crocs. so it's a no from me.


the same applies to converse. fearne cotton has 'designed'/put her name to a range for them saying:

"they are definite styles i would wear myself and i've always got a pair in my bag for after a night out!"

really fearne? of your new zebra print or polka dot or faux lace ones?

sure you do.

i've got a sneeeeaky feeling you'll be keeping your louboutins on for the rest of the eve won't you cotton?

although then again, she is designing for very.co.uk, in other words- littlewoods catalogue. so maybe we should take her word for it.

what i'm saying is, it's all about the classics (no, not reeboks.) why you would want to walk around in emblazoned union jack vans or emo skull & cross bones converse is beyond me. it's all a bit extra for my liking. it's unnecessary. it's not original or up and coming. it's straight uggly.

"he had it comin...he only had himself to blaaame"

so apparently dappy from 'nah nah niiiiii' n nubz has been sparked in the the chops by his girl.


1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2. it's about friggin time he got told he's a prat.

3. just look at the picture.

4. tulise/tuloose/tuleesha has said:

"it takes a lot not to hit a girl back - i wouldn't have been able to control myself"

what a lovely lady eh? hmmm how about you go back and write some MORE lyrics about how we should be "stopping knife crime and violence and like you know, we gotta come togeva as one innit, united front and all that, get me?? cos i know yeh, being from the streets, its haaard and we just wanna write songs that reach out to the yoof yeh??"...

and then blurt out a completley contradicting statement like the above.

ridiculous.

old 'papi' ain't gonna be so proud now is he?!

oh and i guess:

5. does anyone actually know what the other wasteface does in the group? nah. me neiths..

does anyone actually give 2 hoots about...

another couple of scandalous weeks in celebsville have flown by, with more and more z listers gracing the red 'allied' carpets in hope of revelling from their "pap me! pap me! i'm a fame hungry dickhead!" picture in the daily star. danny dyer, you catch my drift innit? you ain't a cheeky chappy cockney. you're a knob.

we've got a cheap and tacky wedding to cringe at, another classy photoshoot spread of rihanna with her baps and tattoos out again and yet another poor ed hardy bikini wearing (yep. sympathy stops RIGHT there) WAG toni terry gets her heart stampeeded on by, whaddya know- a cheating scumbagging chelsea cretin. now, you wouldn't see any of wengers boys say for instance thomas 'gavalaaaaaa' vermaelen getting up to dirty deeds like that. cos arsenal have got class. oh and they wouldn't wanna mess with wenger and get their balls cut off. standard.

jordan (yes, i'm reverting back to calling her jordan cos she's a disgraceful dirtbag)and alex reid get hitched in the ever so subtle, non attention grabbing city of las vegas. i'm so sorry but as much as alex came across as a nice guy in cbb and nowhere as annoying as 'far from a' lady sovreign, he's still really butters. the cauliflower ears, the beat up nose, the tangoed tan, the 90's esque french crop. i can't cope. although i do feel a tad sorry for being married to a poor mans pammie and he also has to look after little blonde cutie 'princess'. who looks uncannily like a frog. come on, she does. team peter, team katie- she is toad worthy.


so now, is it just me or are people getting fed up of seeing rihannas boobs and backside spread across a magazine or other? boys, you don't have to answer that, i'm sure you're having a cow over it. but seriously, she did one big built up interview demurely dressed in angelic white claiming it would be the only time she'd be discussing the chris brown saga then guess who's popping up all over the joint, straddling male models on leashes, her wearing nothing but nipple tassels and louboutins claiming she's "still really hurt by it all". really? seems like nothing but a bit of s & m can't cure eh rhi rhi?

anyone see nicola 'the ginger one' roberts from girls aloud make her bbc3 debut about fake tanning and sunbeds? it was eye opening for sure. but i couldn't help but think about how well they've all been doing during their 'year break' from chart topping. i mean, we've got kimberley becoming the latest face for 'new look' (ahem), sarah harding just out on the lash (no change there) and starring in...hmmm i forget the name of the film?? nadine over in LA putting all her hard earned wonga into property (good move nads) and then we have nicola having a cry and a cuppa with burnt to a crisp blondes who stupidly use sunbeds 7 days a week. and lets not forget cheryl, who is smashing it up. and you know in her ditzy little head shes thinking "new look? l'oreal darling. and simon cowell wants to hump me too. muhahahahaha"