does anyone actually give 2 hoots about...

another couple of scandalous weeks in celebsville have flown by, with more and more z listers gracing the red 'allied' carpets in hope of revelling from their "pap me! pap me! i'm a fame hungry dickhead!" picture in the daily star. danny dyer, you catch my drift innit? you ain't a cheeky chappy cockney. you're a knob.

we've got a cheap and tacky wedding to cringe at, another classy photoshoot spread of rihanna with her baps and tattoos out again and yet another poor ed hardy bikini wearing (yep. sympathy stops RIGHT there) WAG toni terry gets her heart stampeeded on by, whaddya know- a cheating scumbagging chelsea cretin. now, you wouldn't see any of wengers boys say for instance thomas 'gavalaaaaaa' vermaelen getting up to dirty deeds like that. cos arsenal have got class. oh and they wouldn't wanna mess with wenger and get their balls cut off. standard.

jordan (yes, i'm reverting back to calling her jordan cos she's a disgraceful dirtbag)and alex reid get hitched in the ever so subtle, non attention grabbing city of las vegas. i'm so sorry but as much as alex came across as a nice guy in cbb and nowhere as annoying as 'far from a' lady sovreign, he's still really butters. the cauliflower ears, the beat up nose, the tangoed tan, the 90's esque french crop. i can't cope. although i do feel a tad sorry for being married to a poor mans pammie and he also has to look after little blonde cutie 'princess'. who looks uncannily like a frog. come on, she does. team peter, team katie- she is toad worthy.


so now, is it just me or are people getting fed up of seeing rihannas boobs and backside spread across a magazine or other? boys, you don't have to answer that, i'm sure you're having a cow over it. but seriously, she did one big built up interview demurely dressed in angelic white claiming it would be the only time she'd be discussing the chris brown saga then guess who's popping up all over the joint, straddling male models on leashes, her wearing nothing but nipple tassels and louboutins claiming she's "still really hurt by it all". really? seems like nothing but a bit of s & m can't cure eh rhi rhi?

anyone see nicola 'the ginger one' roberts from girls aloud make her bbc3 debut about fake tanning and sunbeds? it was eye opening for sure. but i couldn't help but think about how well they've all been doing during their 'year break' from chart topping. i mean, we've got kimberley becoming the latest face for 'new look' (ahem), sarah harding just out on the lash (no change there) and starring in...hmmm i forget the name of the film?? nadine over in LA putting all her hard earned wonga into property (good move nads) and then we have nicola having a cry and a cuppa with burnt to a crisp blondes who stupidly use sunbeds 7 days a week. and lets not forget cheryl, who is smashing it up. and you know in her ditzy little head shes thinking "new look? l'oreal darling. and simon cowell wants to hump me too. muhahahahaha"