been a while crocodile.

crikey.

it's been an age.

seems like summer has swiftly been and gone...and it's only august. gotta love british summers. the black opaque tights have been pulled out from underneath the pile of unworn summer garms, my brolly is vast becoming a staple in the bottom of my bag, my holiday tan is fading by the hour despite daily slapping on copious amounts of 'tan maximising' moisturiser and i am finding it increasingly hard not to launch my computer out of the window after seeing everyones holiday/ travelling/ "i'm having the time of my life and you're not. MUG" photos popping up all over my facebook news feed.

kill me.

so yes. i am still a moany bitch. i still find most people really annoying and extra and they therefore get hidden/ darked/ mugged off on facey, still spending more than i actually earn, still continuing to beat up my liver till an inch of it's life and still want to murder the hairdresser that fucked up my hair. so yeah, clearly still LOVING LIFE.

tis not all a bag of shit though. got some stuff to look forward over the coming weeks and i will tell thee all via some pictures. because it looks pretty and well, i might aswell:

in just under a month i will be going to BARCELONA for a wee bit to see my krazy (with a k) irish belle michelle for 4 days of boozing and bitching. my kind of holiday. OLE!


i am currently awaiting these beauties that will see me through into the blisteringly shitty winter thats no doubt upon us. i cannot wait to till they are on my size 4's.


my bestest friend jim (she is a girl by the by) is soon to be a wifey and i one of her bridesmaids. excited isn't the word. 'scared' probably is. we are yet to choose the dresses and i do fear that she has the power and capability (seeing as it is HER day. GAWD. what a bitch) to make me look like a 12 year old fairy, fabulously highlighting my lack of 'boobage' and all coming together in a colour that will make me look ill and jaundice. CAN'T WAIT.

despite an array of delayed flights, dramas and deaths whilst on holiday with the girls at the end of june, with so much shit going OFF you literally can only be hysterical in disbelief, at what can only simply be described as 'all a bit touch and go' i have finally put down all the depressing beyond words books i was attempting to read on the beach before getting distracted with the bat and ball. you know all those 'daddy, don't do it...i said no' and 'uncle sam...i thought you were my friend' kinda books and have finally swapped them for a classic and a fave of mine:


say no more on that anyway...

carnival is ever nearing and i can't wait to be stuffing my face with jerk chicken, banana fritters and anything else going. if last year is anything to go by, i will be on the tube early doors with my flatmates, necking luke warm malibu and pineapple juice from old coke bottles at around 11am and being those annoying pricks who blow their whistles as loudly as humanly possible. because it's carnivaaaaal! what i wouldn't like a repeat of however, is nearly being suffocated to death by being LITERALLY held up smack in the middle of a dirty grime sound system as i came off the beaten path to try and find the loo. i was hastily ushered through the crowd of sweaty, angry 'dutty winers' with my feet not actually touching the ground and my bladder being on the verge of exploding in the blazing heat. only to then finally reach a queue 20 people deep to use a toilet in the back of a kebab shop. FANTASTIC.


so that's it for now.

i'd forgotten how good it felt to rant and rave. i've missed it :)