"let's get right ok?"

it's world cup fever. everywhere you look there's chavvy freebie england flags with love from 'the sun' flying out of cars, greggs filling their window displays once again with cup cakes and gingerbread men disastrously decorated in red and white icing that have the ability to send footy mad brats running loco with the amount of additives oozing out them, hoards of men with not a girlfriend in sight because they have lost them to the honduras v chile game (sorry who?) and wouldn't be the slightest distracted if their women were naked, draped in just an england flag and stilettos lap dancing around their tables covered in chips and beer.

so what are the girls left with? yes. the newly released pics of ronaldo sleazing it up in armani y-fronts awkwardly reclining on a chair sporting a back to 1995 gelled mohican. PROJECTILE.

i will promptly pass on those thanks.

however, what you CAN leave me with is this. EVERYTIME.

the 'hot n fun' new vid from pharrell... and the other two. how is it possible that he can ride around in the back of a car, in a gilet of all things, a furry russian hat and still manage to look like SEX personified. and the gold toofs have gone! i'm a happy happy girl. oh and sozza for the turd quality but needs must...



but, forgetting the slimy portugese and the OTT americans (not generalising AT ALL) tis all about 'engerlaaaand nah nah' tonight and i'm sure we've all got everything crossed that robert 'i can't believe i've got butter on my fingers' green does us proud tonight. and doesn't balls up again- pun DEFS intended. because no doubt the cruel tabloids have their cut out effigies waiting in the wings for poor greeny. in the space of a week, the england team are the best thing since hovis, then one mistake and they have to go into hiding in fear of being beaten and egged for being shite. us english fans, we're as patriotic as they come.

i have to say though, i am getting slightly peeved at having to watch the SAME fuzzy black and white footage of the winning 1966 england team on all channels as they try to convince us all to keep optimistic about our chances this time. because you know, it wasn't like it's coming up to nearly HALF A CENTURY ago that we won it last time is it? noooo. the ye old highlights from that game are wearing a bit thin with the match looking so ancient, the players were probably kicking around a ball made of elastic bands and fans paid no more than a 'tupence' for a ticket. but i'll still be out tonight cheering the lads on and wishing the fab man a happy 64th birthday.


COME ON ENGLAND!