"i don't see nothin' wrong, with a little bump n griiiind"

so the sun finally decided to put his flat cap on this weekend and send us some rays. about time afer an absolute arctic friendly winter. but people need to chill juuuuust a little bit. i'm down for sporting the sunnies, it's bright and without them i do spend most of the summer in a constant state of squinting, worrying that if the wind changes my face will actually stay looking like a tard. but i wouldn't say it was exactly the time for flip flops, board shorts (not acceptable in any season really) sun hats and for the lily whites out there, the slapping on of factor 50 before morning has broken. it's mid march. it's still chapping. you are not going to frazzle. stop being extra, put on your north face fleece and take a brisk walk to the newsies and pick up your milk. you will make it back alive with all layers of skin intact. christ.

i'm sorry but you are equally as annoying as those people who proclaim they are: 'a wheat intolerant, bread intolerant, dairy intolerant vegan veggie who can only eat gluten free tofu quorn sausages and sunflower seeds'.

GET A GRIP. because we all know you secretly eat out at pizza express, get tucked in head first into a creamy lasagne dish and mop up the dregs with the last of your garlic bread and dough balls.

anyway, back to the weekend. i felt i used it quite productively. yeah... no, lets not actually include saturday. that was a complete write off as per, except for getting dragged from my toasty warm pit by the boy to go and watch arsenal in the dolphin pub in hackney. it looked so unfamiliar in the daytime, complete with a crazy half deaf pirate looking irish bar man who took about an hour to make me a concoction of lemonade and lime. believe me, i wasn't ready to let in any more alcoholic beverages into my already JD fuelled bloodstream from the night before. i am alright for a top up. the thought of alcohol was making me heave and i didn't think it'd be nice for me to puke up my breakfast (eaten at around 4pm) into the basket of bar snacks nearby containing a mixture of stale bacon flavoured crisps and blatent leftover crimbo nuts. as the final whistle blew, we stumbled back home, my boyfriend leaving me to suffer a somersaulting tummy as he pissed off to go and pack for his skiing trip to france.

prick.

despite all of this though, this standard saturday feeling was a result of a super friday night out at bounty:



we walked in, pushing past the heaving crowd of indiesters bopping around to the smiths probably and stumbled upstairs to who'd have thought it, an old skool r'n'b night on the top floor of the old blue last! i was in my element, shackin out to koffee brown, kp & envyi, bit of mase and diddy, jagged edge, next and some crackers from aaliyah with not a whisper from chipmunk or tinchy! bliss. as the nostalgia was beginning to build, my bank balance was taking a tumble at the bar...

the mini stage area welcomed a variety of people with the only similarity between them being: they were all waste. we had the girl from the city, who'd blates been boozing since the end of her half day at work, frantically trying to grab her friends to join her but unfortunately was quickly shooed off and was the star of many an embarrassing photo instead, a lady (of the night), who felt it necessary to writh around the floor in a neon pink lycra dress, a black thong (that may aswell have had flashing fairy lights sewn onto it, it was that visible) topped off with a delightful pair of knee high patent dm's. so as you can tell, it was a mixed crowd of bump and grinders.

all in all, it was a good night. some old skool slow jams to booty wine to and a hefty amount of party bangers to...i don't know what actually, just definitely not any kind of body popping.

for those of you who missed out, here's a piece of nostalgia cake you can munch on, cos i'm well and truly stuffed: